Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Genny Elec

Not to be confused with comedian Jenny Eclair, our old friend the Genny Elec is back once again. It seems like we're never not in our old primary schools using pencils attached to strings to vote for something these days. Ok that's not true guys, it's actually really quick and easy to do so everyone should go out and do it!

Like the EU referendum last year, this year's snap election has provoked an equally big response from our celeb friends. While people were once often reluctant to disclose their political persuasion, with my own mother once warning me never to ask someone who they voted for, social media's world of oversharing has produced a whole new wave of political openness. Guess what, it's suddenly cool to care about politics! Trends can often be a monotonous irritating thing, watching everyone scramble to adopt the latest fad becomes tedious and even cringe-worthy, but if the newest trend is for everyone to get their butts out and vote then this is something I can get on board with.

Particularly Jeremy Corbyn has inspired a wide range of famous faces young and old to speak out about their support for the left-wing party, with grime artists to models to comedians very publicly supporting his campaign. And in this world of selfies and statuses it's nice to be reminded of how social media can essentially be a great thing and to see a whole new generation of disillusioned people using their voices again. So it's officially cool to vote again! Everyone pick out your polling station outfits, because it's going to be the biggest selfie opportunity of the year. For outfit inspo see my own ode to JC himself in the form of a review of his greatest stylistic hits. But if short for time- reach for your baker boy hat and run to the nearest town hall. 

Monday, 29 May 2017

Alexa Chung

Why, Alexa? Why? As if it wasn't already bad enough the way you taunt us mere mortals with your unfeasibly long limbs and impeccable style but you have to go and bring out a collection that makes it all seem like maybe, just maybe, it's possible for us too... possible, that is, if we have a spare £425 burning a hole in our pocket. And that's just for a jumper. A really nice jumper, though as I tried to justify to my mum. (Just to clear up any potential confusion, I most certainly do not have £425 burning a hole in my pocket).

Last year saw the model turn fashion designer turn all time ultimate style icon and hero that can do no wrong amen, release her two debut collections in collaboration with M&S. Oh, and it was good. With staple items (the blouse, come on people) selling out almost immediately, this collection was reasonably priced and made it accessible for what I'm going to put my foot (sadly not wearing an Alexa Chung shoe) out and call the majority of Chung's fans. A following shall we say, as the way I and many girls of my age follow Alexa Chung is not too dissimilar from a religion. However, I, like most of my fellow Chung believers do not have a lot of money. I am in my early twenties, I am a student, and although I want with all my heart to buy that bloody stripy jumper. It's just not going to happen.
And so while I say well bloody done, Alexa old friend. You have created something incredibly beautiful. Something dream worthy (I had two separate dreams just about the green dress last week). And many are often keen to dismiss celebrity designers as unskilled people just jumping on the band wagon to fund their lifestyle- hey, I didn't say it, but Alexa's new collection, like all her past collaborations have been, is actually really great and there's no denying it. But I just have to ask, who the hell is going to buy it? I mean obviously someone, as my daily ritual of drooling over the website has alerted me to a number of sellout pieces. But your main cult following of fans? Sadly we are left unable to even think about owning a piece, our only way of accessing our fantasy through our computer screen. Let me know when there's a sale, please.

Thursday, 23 March 2017

Confessions of a Denim Addict.

And this one is serious. This obsession shows no sign of slowing down. I purchased my fourth denim dress last week. One of my friends actually caught me leaving Topshop and when I refused to let her see the contents of my bag she grabbed it off me and revealed the shame of my latest denim purchase to the streets of Nottingham. I told her it was for my sister and shoved it back in back before escaping red faced and out of breath from the sheer embarrassment of the revelation of my addiction.

In some ways my addiction has benefited me. I am a connoisseur of denim. If a friend wants advice on a certain brand of jeans and how they fit, they come to me. I am an oracle of denim knowledge. You've got to cut me a bit of slack though, part of the reason behind my excessive collection is the fact that half of my jeans simply can no longer be contorted and squeezed onto my seemingly ever expanding thighs and yet I refuse to dispose of them in the futile hope that one day they may be worn again. But that is just an excuse. I genuinely have no idea how many pairs of jeans I actually own (disclaimer: another pair are currently on their way to me in the post) I have three pairs of dungarees and two pinafores, three jackets, and at least four shirts and that's not even mentioning my dresses.

I actually discovered on a visit home the other week one of my childhood toys; a denim teddy bear. Yeah, I didn't know such a thing existed either, but surely this highlights that I am not to blame for my problem. My mother should have never given such an easily influenced child a toy made from such a gateway material. Sorry mum, but maybe this ones on you.

Image- Tumblr

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Can We Talk About... Zara's Slogan Tees

Before I begin, please do not get me wrong, I love Zara as much as the next 20 year old gal- which for those who don't know, is A LOT. Like an unhealthy amount. 90% of my wardrobe is in fact from said retailer. But, this has been on my mind for a while, and we just have to discuss their T-shirt slogans. 

I don't know if everyone is quite as aware and up to date with current Zara stock as I am, but I pretty much consider myself an expert on the subject, it would definitely be my Mastermind subject of choice. That or supermarket sushi. So you can take it on good authority when I tell you that firstly, Zara have a lot of t-shirts available for purchase, in fact they have a plethora of 'T' shaped garments to adorn your upper body with. And, secondly, they all have bloody weird phrases written on them. Many a time I have been drawn to a beautiful striped little number only to discover that is has the words 'Shop Around' on it. My confused mind can't handle it, I just want (yet definitely do not need) a new striped top, what does this phrase even mean? I sometimes panic, am I seeing things, is this God's way of connecting with me? Has some hooligan come in to this shopping outlet and specifically graffitied on this one garment? 


But no, on closer inspection most of the t-shirts available are adorned with similar ambiguous phrases. 'Attractive mind' one reads, the pocket of one instructing 'Put here what you want'. Not just a bizarre sentence in itself but definitely written by someone for whom English is their second language. One in the current collection reads simply 'Brunch' which I get is very of the zeitgeist, but do people really want it written on their tits, or just to eat it? I can kind of accept the one that reassures me that 'Life is a party' and another that advertises 'Free buffet', but 'Thinking in a master plan' once again makes me question if I fully grasp English as it makes zero sense to me. And the one that blazons 'Ouch... Oh ok' kind of reflects how my mind feels when reading these slogans. Look, I love you Zara, I love that you allow me to kind of look like I'm wearing Celine for a fraction of the price (and that fraction is literally like 2/1000 which is a really good fraction) I love your boots, and your bags, and oh god, I really love your coats. But I can't be alone in thinking that the slogans are just weird. If BBC Three are interested I would be more than happy to do a documentary investigating the creation of these T-shirts and their hilarious phrases... Or maybe it's just Zara, in these turbulent times trying to help us have a bit of a laugh, if so, why not? We could all do with it. 


Thursday, 26 January 2017

Life Without The Gram

Here ye, here ye, come forth to here the tale of how I managed to live a life without social media (for at least 2 weeks.) 

It was a shitty Saturday night, the kind that only happens in January, when everyone's skint and behind on work and can't fit in their favourite jeans after Christmas and generally want to return to a time of tinsel and gin on a school night and sequinned dresses for no good reason. Not helped by the impending doom for the world, I was sat with my housemates discussing how generally SHIT we felt. Despite two rounds of that game where you stick a name on your head and have to guess who it is, the mood was still surprisingly low and it was just that time of night when you start to become way more philosophical than is sensible (somewhere between midnight and 1am btw.) 

In our depressor's revelation I came to the realisation that I found approximately zero happiness from my social media usage- which had become, to say the least, obsessive. All the free time fermenting in a permanently fully, semi-drunken state over Christmas had led my once controlled use of social media to a more worryingly, addictive level. I would open the apps without realising, my fingers doing the magic (steady on) hours before my brain even realised what had happened. And once there, I would spend what sometimes felt like days scrolling and clicking and stalking until my thumb would ache and my eyes would sting, but most of all, until I felt like complete shit. The worst culprit for self esteem shattering  is the discover page which is inexplicably filled with 'fitspiration' pages and Victoria's Secret models (this can't just be mine?!). Despite how undeniably crappy this made me feel, I have literally spent hours of my life at a time doing it. Why?????? I began to ask myself. January does enough to crush a person's spirit without me adding to this with a stupid app. 

So I deleted it. No cold sweats, no panic, I deleted the app. That night, before bed my hands felt lost without the ritualistic scrolling down my newsfeeds before spooning my cold mobile phone until I drifted off into a sleep polluted with the images of underfed models and women with six packs. And although I do have the app back now, those two weeks and a few days made me feel sooo much happier, I filled my boredom instead with reading and music, and things that generally made me feel better about myself. I still love Instagram, and Facebook is essential for stalking people I went to primary school with, but I use them so much less now and I would recommend a social media detox to everrrrryone. If nothing else you'll find yourself with so much free time- hey take up a new hobby, crochet yourself a top for summer!

Photo- The Telegraph

Friday, 30 December 2016

2016. The Year That Was.

The year that was shit? Yeah I know some pretty grim things did happen. Not quite ready to talk about the events of the 23rd of June and I shall not be mentioning the man whose name rhymes with Bonald Hump. Plus some really bloody cool people died.

But alas my dear people. It was not all bad. Don't get me wrong I still can't wait to wave goodbye to the basic bitch of a year that was 2016. But here are some really good things that happened this year to just to help you deal with your post Christmas slump and dread of the year to come...

Peace in Columbia

Sri Lanka is now Malaria free

The ozone layer is repairing itself

200 strangers attended the funeral of a homeless WW2 veteran with no family

Over 800 Boko Harem Hostages were rescued by Nigerian Army

Happy New Year. 2017 can be better.


Thursday, 3 November 2016

Cigarettes: Will Cause Cancer, May Also Make You Look Cooler

I'm going to say something controversial here, so I apologise in advance (especially to you, Mum.) 

But in the words of Chandler Bing, smoking is cool and you know it. This may seem like a ridiculous thing to say, especially coming from someone who doesn't smoke, and in 2015 when we know how completely shitty cigarettes really are for you and it probably is. 

But there's got to be a reason why cigarettes are still so prevalent in fashion advertising, photography and films. And it's because they look cool. Little has really changed since James Dean first held a cigarette on the poster for 'Rebel Without a Cause'. If you want to make someone look mysterious, rebellious or sexy, just give them a cigarette to hold and the job is done. 

Exhibit A:

Images- All Pinterest
They also make you look very French which is obviously a plus. But I think what is also clear is that if you want to look cooler all you really need to do is be in black and white. It's a well known fact that every looks approximately 40% cooler in black and white. So great news kids- keep those lil' lungs of yours nice and pink, say no to cigarettes, and just put a nice monochrome filter on your photo instead!