Absolutely Fabulous

It is with baited breath that the nation awaits the release of the Ab Fab film. Ok, maybe not the wholeeee nation… but definitely me at least. Firstly, I have a confession to make, I came late to the world of Absolutely Fabulous. I mean, of course I came late, it was first aired before my actual conception or birth. But still, there were many years during my youth when I could have welcomed the programme into my heart, but, alas, it took me until I was 20 whole years old (and until it came on Netflix) to introduce the magical show into my life. 20 years of my life spent without such a sublime piece of television, looking back I can’t imagine what dark times they must have been, or how I ever made a decision without the guidance of Eddie and Patsy.

For those of you who haven't watched, or simply need reminding before they hit the big screen, here are some of the most important life lessons we can learn from everyone's favourite duo. Thank you for your eternal guidance, ladies. 

Lesson one: it's important to set goals

Always help the less fortunate

Stand up against sexism

Always be positive

And finally, never forget to love yourself

Images: tumblr

The Return of the Buzzcut

I know. The thought of it brings me out in cold sweats too. If this trend really reemerges in full force, does this mean us mere mortals will have to sport it too? If so, how will we cope? And should we start looking into facial surgery costs just in case? My round face and abnormally shaped head (we'll not get into that now) were not destined for the buzz of the razor. So hopefully this trend will stay amongst the genetically blessed, elite model crew where it belongs. 

Originally a bold punk statement commonplace in the 1980s, this reemergence of the buzzcut on us lady folk seems to be apart of the ever-growing trend for androgyny. And I'm a fan. Personally I'm still not over Natalie Portman's 90s buzzcut, and Amber Rose has been rocking hers, un-phased, for years. But recently someone has appeared to rival both of these buzzcut patrons. And her name is Ruth Bell. 

Half of the modelling power duo with twin May, Ruth headed for the razor to contrast with her sister's ethereal locks. And she does it with such effortlessness and complete beauty that she almost convinces you that, yes you too would look brilliant bald. Almost.

I have to admit, I have spent hours googling Ruth Bell and her infamous scalp. Stalking the twins on every social media platform, and scraping my hair tightly back in the shower just to double check if I  could pull it off too. The answer is no. But I will continue to wish that I was blessed enough to be able to wear this hairstyle for the rest of my life. If wearing your boyfriend's jacket is cool, then wearing his hairstyle is surely the coolest thing you could do. 

Image- misswhirlwind.com

Fashion (and life) Advice from a 10 year old

'I don't want to look cute, I want to look cool'.

And in one sentence, my little sister, 10 years my junior, summed up all the style choices I had ever made without ever realising it. 

'Boys don't know anything about fashion, so it would be stupid to wear something they liked'

Never did I think that a quick chat with my sister would reveal the true genius that she really is. She was giving me more than style advice here, rather a more philosophical look on how to live the whole of my life. Ok maybe I'm stretching it here a bit, but what she said really made sense.

The ideal style of my 10 year old sister... to look like a mermaid

Our style is made when we're young, and really, for me at least anyway, nothing has changed in my mind from the 10 year old girl who didn't want to dress for a boy because let's be honest, they know nothing about fashion. Barring a brief six month period aged around 13 when I bought a padded bra from my local Peacocks and wore too much neon, I've generally dressed with the intention of pleasing nobody but myself- and unintentionally repelling any boy that came my way, but you win some, you lose some. 

I asked her to look through my wardrobe and pick an outfit for me (which she does for herself every time I leave the house for more than five minutes anyway) and although her choices were still slightly questionable, the attitude with which she chose them- to look cool and not impress boys- was still there. And it's these questionable style choices we make when we're young, the skirts over jeans as a teenager, and crop tops when you are still a chubby 12 year old, and the ones that I continue to make on a daily basis, that make us and our unique style. And will hopefully one day lead us to choose killer outfits.

N.B A killer outfit is one that you feel completely, bloody brilliant in and don't have to think for two minutes about what anyone else thinks about it.


Image: sugarscape.com

The Lily Rose Effect

 Who here can honestly say they’ve not heard of Lily-Rose Depp? 

Since 2015, the teen sensation has sprung from near obscurity (I mean, as obscure as you can be for the child of Vanessa Paradis and Johnny Depp) to being the darling of the fashion world. But why is it that we’re all SO obsessed with her? Yeah, of course her ridiculous good looks help, thanks to pretty much the best gene pool you could ever get. But there seems to be something different about Lily-Rose (or maybe that’s just what I like to think) she seems apart from her fellow teen stars of celebrity descent. More enigmatic, and less willing to give everything away.

 Her Instagram resembles one of my friends (albeit with a few more Chanel outfits) more than a celebrity’s and her refusal to do many interviews allows the world to keep guessing about who she really is. Which is how it should be really, we live in a world where we want to know everything, about everyone, all the time, and Twitter and Instagram have allowed us to do this. If you want to know what your neighbour is having for breakfast, no more straining through the netted curtains to see if that’s Weetabix or Alpen, just check their Facebook. Wondering who T Swizzle is going to write a song about next? Get yourself on Instagram, my friend. So in this world of oversharing Miss Depp appears an elusive creature. And maybe a refreshing reminder that we don’t have to share everything, all the time?


Image- huffingtonpost.com

Thomas Cohen, Bloom Forever

Thomas Cohen is back. He released the video for his upcoming single Bloom Forever at the end of January which was just what everyone needed to help haul them out of the depths of mid-January despair at the fact that yes, it's still bloody freezing outside and, no, you still haven't lost the half a stone you put on over Christmas. 

Debuting not only his solo single but his new haircut, Cohen is back on form, seen lying on a Dali-esque lip sofa and swinging his microphone, and never has awkward, offbeat dancing looked so sexy. Although his ripped jeans and snake skin boots may read like something from a MissGuided look book, Cohen proves once again that he knows how to nail effortless cool. 

The Curse of Workout Clothes.

They are just so ugly. Well maybe they're not, if you're Kayla Itsines/Davina McCall/The cast of Geordie shore. But for the majority of people, this is not the case. Most people adorning said gear are in fact just a little bit cuddly and trying to fit in last years' jeans because they can't afford a new pair/want to justify eating more chocolate/doing some sort of weird science experiment about lung capacity?? Who knows... I don't know why people do these crazy things such as move their body more than is absolutely necessary.

So, not only do these lycra creations come in the most garish designs and fluorescent colours meant only for the likes of Jessica Ennis Hill, but I have another issue with them, so if there's any sportswear designers out there- please take note. They're just too comfy. Come on, I can't be the only one who has dressed to go to the gym and woken up three hours later, confused but also very refreshed after the best nap of their life. Until you've slept in those ugly little lycra leggings you won't know just how cosy those things are, how your hoody cuddles you as you sleep and your trainer socks keep you just the right temperature. And with the rise of the athleisure wear this is not good news for me. I need to find a way to simultaneously look good in gym clothes and ya know, not fall asleep. But it's not looking too promising... 

Workout Wear Expectations:

Reality.

Clothes clothes clothes, Music music music, Boys boys boys

Viv Albertine, I love you so much. Even though she grew up more than forty years before me, never have I related to something so much than when reading her autobiography.

vivalbertine.com

First of all the title is good enough anyway, I mean it pretty much sums up my life, the contents of the group chat I have with my mates (minus some bits about food and pooing) and the thoughts of any teenage girl that has ever walked the earth. As well as being an amazing music biography and an insight into what it was really like to be in London in the seventies, Albertine discusses some of the best fashion moments of the decade, and most importantly, gives the most honest portrayal of what it is truly like to be a teenage girl that I have ever read. Men, women, boys and girls should all read this book. It is moving and funny, and if nothing else, it might help you to understand adolescent girls a bit more. Viv Albertine, you're the coolest woman ever.